Dear Mrs. and Mr. Akleman

It is now three weeks that Andrew is gone and I still cannot believe it. Every day when I go to the university to check my e-mail I expect to find one of his messages there, which always made me laugh because we used to speak in this funny mix of English, German and various other languages that we both knew little bits of (like Italian, French, Hungatrian...). But alas there won't be any of those messages anymore, nor any of our talks which at times could last for hours.

Even though we did not see all tha much of each other since we graduated from Edinburg, it was the occasional e-mail phonecall that was enough to keep up with the other so that, when Andrew came to Detmold in August it really felt as if I had last seen him the day before. I think that is a sign of a "working" friendship, and that is why I feel that I have lost a very good friend - someone whom I could talk to seriously, someone to have fun with, someone to agree with at times - but essentially someone who took an interest in what I was doing and vice versa. Andrew was a very caring person, which I think some times made his life more difficult but that is what I will remember him for . Even though from the outside he seemed careless on little things and could be extremely chaotic, what mattered most was other people. And I remember some cases when I or some other friend of ours got very cross with Andrew for his lack of organisation or some trouble that arose from him having left things to the very last minute - and poor Andrew was genuinely sad because he did not mean harm to anybody. I think his keen interest in other people was also behind his extraordinary gift for languages and for imitating different accents. From Andrew I learned how Hungarian has to "sound" before I even knew one word of the language!

When I first met Andrew I was surprised to find this young man who looked so Turkish to me, who sounded so English to me (when he did not put on any other accent) - to claim that he as Scottish. We all laughed when he went off to buy his kilt! I think at that time it was very difficult for Andrew to find out who he was and what he wanted to be in all aspects of life. And it must have been difficult for you, too!

Therefore I was especially glad when I saw him this summer to find that he was much more at ease with himself. Of course he was still worried about what his career future would be, but he seemed much more mature. He had done all these travels for which I admire him, and somehow the world seemed to be his backyard. So much more tragic that he had to go now! The only "consolation" is that he did not suffer in a way that would have made him end his own life.

Dear Mrs. and Mr. Akleman - I can only imagine how you must feel, and I feel there is very little I can do to help. Only time and the memory of Andrew as he was caring, intelligent, wilty, cahotic, disorderly, brave, independent and loving and all the other things that you would know better than anybody else, can help.

I wish you all the strength.